From Bad Bosses to Office Drama: How to Survive & Thrive in a Toxic Workplace

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (00:03):

So with that, let’s go ahead and get started. I’m Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador. I’m a content creator and brand ambassador here at iHire, and I’m so glad that you could be with us for today’s session. From Bad Bosses to Office drama, how to Survive and Thrive in a toxic workplace. We’ve already talked about some of the widgets that are on your screen, and these widgets allow you to customize your experience, and I’ve got to put attendee chat at the bottom so I don’t get distracted. Make sure that if you have any questions during the presentation, you find that ask a question widget and you can ask your questions at any time during the presentation. People have already started to take advantage of that, so I’m really happy to see that if you ask a question, only our producer will see those questions and we will do the best that we can to get to as many as we can after the webinar and keep things moving here.

(01:02):

So presenting with me today is Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner. Vickie is a senior HR business partner here at iHire, and she has spent 20 years in human resources accounting and office management, primarily in software as a service companies. She’s really passionate about employee engagement, recruitment, training and development, and has a solid background in all areas of HR, and she works a lot with our employers and does a lot of consulting and helping them with different things like their employee handbooks and different problems that they may come to us with. So she’s very well-versed in both sides, both candidate and employer of this topic. Vickie’s also involved with the national SHRM, and she is the president elect of the Mid Florida SHRM chapter. So welcome Vickie. Thank you, Lori. Happy to be here with you today. Alright, before we get started, let’s do a quick poll.

(02:06):

This is a poll on your screen here. Have you ever worked for an employer who’s workplace you would consider toxic? I’m guessing that we’re going to get a lot of yeses on this because if it wasn’t, you’re probably not interested in this webinar too much. But while we are waiting for those poll results today, we’ll talk about seven signs of a toxic workplace and what to do about them. We’ll also give some tips on how to report any harmful behavior to HR or to your senior leadership. Plus, if you’re thinking about leaving your job, we have some advice on how to do that with causing a lot of drama on your way out. And then don’t forget to submit your questions so that we can have that q and a session at the end. All right? Just exactly what we expected. Lots of people have worked in this toxic workplace, so yeah, you’re in the right place. So Vickie, tell us, let’s just start by defining what a toxic workplace is.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (03:20):

Yeah, so if you answered yes to the poll question, you’re not alone. I know Lori and I were talking yesterday and we too have both worked in toxic work environments. A few months ago, we surveyed over 1700 US workers and our 2025 toxic Workplace trends report, and we found that three out of four of those responses, so 75% said they had at some point in their career experience a toxic work environment. So for the purposes of the survey, we define toxic workplace as a work environment characterized by harmful behaviors, attitude, practices that negatively impacted your wellbeing, morale and productivity, whether you’re currently in a toxic workplace or want to prepare in case you encounter one as you grow in your career. We’re going to cover all that today for you. So Lori, let’s, let’s take a dive in here. All right, I’m going to start actually with the seven signs of the toxic workplace.

(04:18):

So what specifically makes a workplace toxic? You may ask yourself, in our survey, we asked employees who experienced this toxic work environment, what they experienced. So you’ll see from our chart here on the screen, the responses stacked up. By far, the top response was poor leadership and management, almost 80% followed by poor communications, unfair treatment of employees. You can look at the slide there. We saw a lack of training, unsafe work environment, nepotism, constant changes, layoffs in micromanagement. Have you experienced that? Lori micromanagement? Oh yeah, I have Anything you want to add here, Lori, about what you see in what you’ve read today in this report?

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (05:08):

No, it doesn’t surprise me at all. And especially, I mean, all of these factors really do contribute to that high stress level and the burnout because things just keep piling up. So whatever you’re experiencing that’s going to contribute to that bottom line burnout. So I know that we’ve already kind of covered this in the survey, but I just want to give you another chance to vent a little bit. Give me an emoji if you have ever had a bad boss. I know if I had the emoji widget available, I would be sending up two or three of ‘em, but how do we handle this if we have a bad boss? We’ve got to deal with it in the moment and try to figure out what to do with it. So one of the best ways to handle a toxic boss or manager is by managing up and basically working with them in a way that makes their job easier by helping you succeed in your job. ?

(06:16):

So here’s how to do it, adapt to their communication style and behavior. And I know that this all kind of goes against the green because you’re thinking, I have a bad boss. I don’t want to do anything to make them look good. But you’re really helping yourself and you’re really trying to make the situation better when you do these things. So adapt to their communication style and behavior. Maybe they prefer emails over face-to-face chats or they don’t like being approached first thing in the morning. I know that I used to work for a boss that did intermittent fasting and we all just knew not before noon, just don’t say anything before noon. If you can offer to take some tasks that they dislike off their plate, that would be a good thing for you, and it gives you some more skills. It allows you to upskill a little bit.

(07:12):

You can also kind of take a step back and try to figure out what’s driving their behavior. Maybe it’s nothing to do with work and they’ve got some personal stuff going on at home and it’s just making them super anxious and super angry at work. Or maybe they do have something going on at work. Maybe they have a really tough toxic boss and you’re not aware of that relationship and it’s causing them to lash out. So I think that you have to really step back and look at the big picture of what’s causing it. You also want to try to anticipate their expectations. I once had a boss who would say, think of in terms of what would I do? So eventually I would start to think about it like what would Eric do in this situation? So dealing with a toxic boss also means setting some boundaries.

(08:10):

You want to protect that personal time and space. Don’t respond to non-urgent emails or communications on the weekends or after hours because once you start doing it, it’s a slippery slope and that’s expected of you and you just don’t want to get into that habit. Try to emotionally detach from negativity and avoid taking criticism personally. I know that’s really tough, but again, try to take yourself out of that situation and ask why the person is acting like this, and then start to document everything. Start a notebook, start a spreadsheet, because if and when you go to management or HR or whoever you need to go to with these facts, you want to have dates, witnesses the facts around what happened. Because if they can’t really do anything about a problem, if your complaint is super vague, so if you just say, well, this person’s being mean to me, or I witnessed this person being mean to other people, you have got to give them data that they can work with so that they can go back.

(09:27):

So you’re going to hear us hammer this point home a lot because documentation will give you that credibility. But what if your manager is the HR person? I know that some of you may be in that situation if your company has a staff engagement tool that sends out regular surveys, report the issue there anonymously. You could even use AI to disguise your voice a little bit, disguise the tone, make it sound neutral, but still get your point across that it’s serious. And then go to the top with that documentation. If you have a trusted colleague in the senior leadership team, talk to them confidentially and tell them that you are fearing retaliation from this person that you’re reporting because that term fear retaliation is something that retaliation is what we talk about in the employee handbooks and it emphasizes that this is really a serious problem and possibly a legal issue. So Vickie, tell us about trait number two, poor communication.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (10:41):

Yeah, I was going to add one thing earlier to that. When it comes to the retaliation, many states have passed laws around this. I know California and New York. So I think it’s really important to know your rights there when it comes to that and make sure that it is included in your employee handbook. It does vary by state. All right, toxic trait number two, poor communications and a toxic workplace. Leaders and managers and teams and individual often don’t clearly transparently communicate. Sometimes there can be mixed messages, lack of constructive and corrective feedback, and this can negatively impact the entire organization, not just you as an individual. So how do we survive this? Take initiative to clarify those expectations when communicating, especially when they get muddy and vague. Ask specific follow-up questions and set regular check-ins with your boss to align a priorities, and I recommend at least a weekly or biweekly check-in and come prepare with an agenda. Come prepare with your questions that you have.

(11:45):

Build a group of reliable colleagues who are well-informed that can possibly exchange information and insights. Think of it as a support network. You’re supporting each other. Do not resort to gossip, complaining or venting because this could turn quickly on you. Keep records of documentation, as Lori mentioned on your decisions, your task, policies, goals, company changes. It may occur and confirm that what’s happening in leadership when you need to finally aim to improve communication skills so you don’t become part of the problem. Use your emotional intelligence here if this is a skill that you’re needing to work on, there are tons of resources out there that can help you with your communications. Be clear, concise, proactive, and always professional in all your written and verbal exchanges. Don’t be afraid to tap into those AI tools, as Lori mentioned, as long as they’re permitted by your employer, you could even have a personal account.

(12:43):

I have both to refine your writings, spark creativity and ensure diplomacy, even check for spelling and grammar mistakes. I honestly love using these tools to refine my writing skills, especially when I’m sending an email. Sometimes I know what I want to say and I don’t exactly have all the words that align where they should be or it may not sound as professional. So I pop it in there, chat, GPT, and have it help me refine and write it more professional. And I think it comes out well. You do have to go back and proofread and make sure, but it is a great way to get your message out there,

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (13:23):

And it helps to make you sound more professional too. Absolutely. If you’re putting in your documentation into a spreadsheet or something, you can copy that into one of the AI programs and just say, Hey, create a timeline and help me to sound more professional and take the emotion out of this and it can really help you.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (13:46):

Yeah, I love that. So Lori, tell us about unfair treatment to employees. Toxic trait number three.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (13:53):

Well, the unfair treatment can take a lot of different forms. Your boss may be playing favorites, showing bias towards certain employees or being discriminatory based on things like age or race or gender. And sometimes it might also mean that some folks don’t get the same chance for promotions or growth or pay raises or to go to conferences or to do travel or things like that. So if you see or experience any of this unfairness, it’s so important you keep track of everything. Here’s that documentation. Again, if you think a manager is discriminating against you because of your age, jot down the details when it went down, how it happened, if anybody else saw it, and hold on to any messages or emails or performance reviews that could show the biases or the inconsistencies. It’s also a good idea to connect with coworkers that you trust who might be in the same boat.

(14:59):

You can also go to a mentor for support if you have somebody that you trust and talk to outside of your company. But in the meantime, focus on what you can control and what you can control is delivering great work and staying productive. I once had a manager that told me that he didn’t think that I was doing, I could do a better job in this one certain project, so I worked all weekend and I just killed this project and created these timelines and things that did make me better, but I was also trying to focus on what I could control, and I finally did deliver a really great product.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (15:50):

Love it. I love what you said about a mentor. I mean, that’s a really great thing, especially even if you’re not experiencing a toxic work environment. Even if you just want to grow in your career, find a mentor, have someone outside the company that you can talk to, talk through these, whether it’s a good issue or a bad issue, they really can help in any situation to help you in your career.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (16:14):

Well, Vickie, I think you’ve got another emoji pull for us.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (16:17):

Yes. So drop your emoji in there. If you’ve ever felt burned out at work, stressed out to the max. And as you do that, I’m going to share a quick story with you. I have been here. You’re not alone. If you’ve experienced burnout, it was back in 2021. Covid was still pretty bad, and I was working at a plant that operated 24 7. So I was taking calls all hours, weekends, nights, days, mornings, you named it. I was getting a phone call from somebody who had symptoms, had covid. I actually had an employee pass away from Covid during that time. I was burning at both ends of the candlestick and just let my health go. I thought I have to keep up with all these things. It was department of two managing through all this stuff that was going on for a company, about 200 employees.

(17:11):

So it was a lot. And I am one of those people that takes responsibility. So I felt like I was the one that had to do it, not a good move because I ended up getting really sick with pneumonia, not covid related, which was kind of not embarrassing, but I got a lot of questions like, oh, did this come from Covid? No, I just got really sick and couldn’t shake it. I was burned out. So it really gave me a chance to look at what I was doing. I loved my job, but I just overwhelmed myself too much to got ill. So who isn’t stressed out and overwhelmed? Sometimes this happens because it’s a direct effect of toxic work environments, or it could be just your own self-management, having unmanageable workloads, unrealistic deadlines, poor work-life balance. That was me. In fact, our survey found that more than 60% of employees had experienced stress or other health related issues during as part of their work conditions.

(18:09):

If you are feeling burned out, here’s some things that you can do. Prioritize self-care and stress management techniques. Can’t stress this enough enough, no pun intended. Take breaks during your workday. If you have a chance to get outside, do it. Even if it’s for 10 minutes. Get that breath of fresh air step away from your desk. It’s amazing what a few minutes can do to reset your whole body. Truly try to unplug after work on the weekends. Don’t look at those emails and don’t respond after hours unless it’s absolutely necessary. That email will still be there when you get to work the next morning. Engage in stress relief activities outside of work, exercise, meditation, cook at a massage, anything. Go get your nails or your hair, whatever works for you, go do it so you can have some downtime to just focus, relax and unwind.

(19:05):

Make sure you’re getting proper sleep, getting enough sleep each night. Proper nutrition. I’ve heard so many people say, I have to work through lunch. I’ve got too much going on. Take that time even if you want to just kind of graze throughout the day or have a mealtime designated block your calendar and also make sure you stay hydrated. This is so important to maintain your energy levels and then also seek to understand any unnecessary assignments or responsibilities that may come on to you. Maybe it’s not a yes now it’s a yes. Later. Talk to your boss about prioritizing these tasks. Unreasonable deadlines. Come prepare with a solution. If you’re struggling, you might be able to adjust those due dates and delegate work among your team, and you may find a more effective way to stay on track. The key here is to be collaborative and work with your team and your boss to do something. Get the work done.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (20:07):

So I have a quick little story about that. I was the manager of a department, and every time I went on vacation or the weekends, I was that person. It was the self-induced pressure from me, not because I felt it from anybody else, but it was my pressure on myself feeling I’ve got to keep up with this stuff. I’ve got to know what’s going on with my team and my department. And I was with the CEO one day, and I don’t know, I said something about, well, it’s not even worth it for me to leave because of all the catch that I have to do when I get back. And he said, oh, you’re one of the managers that think that they can’t totally unplug because you want to keep doing stuff while you’re on vacation. He said, you don’t need to do that. You need to go totally unplug. After that, it was like, oh, I have permission from the CEO not to pay attention to these things on the evenings and the weekends and vacations. And that was just a really great breath of fresh air. And that was totally my wrong thinking of feeling. I was doing a good job for the company where I was really just burning myself out.

(21:33):

Yes. So,

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (21:35):

Oh, go ahead, Vickie. No, I was going to say, go ahead. Tell us about toxic trach. Number five, lack of support for employees.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (21:42):

Well, and then my story segued, I didn’t even realize it was going to segue into this slide, but in a toxic workplace, you may feel like your boss doesn’t really care about you. I don’t have that problem at all. I love my bosses. Everybody that iHire is just wonderful, but you probably get little or no recognition sometimes or support for your wellbeing or your mental health. Again, those are all things that iHire is just stellar about. Plus, with proper backing, you might miss out on without proper backing. You might miss out on any resources or tools that would help you do your job better, do your job well. So if you’re feeling unsupported at work, it’s up to you to be your biggest advocate. I can’t stress that enough. Take charge of your own growth by finding ways to develop professionally, both inside and outside the company.

(22:40):

Look into online courses, network with people in your industry and volunteer for projects that let you learn new skills. LinkedIn also has an incredible, these LinkedIn classes and certifications that you can take. Look into that. I just looked at one this morning on social media. Make sure that you’re tracking your own accomplishments too, because if you get to the point where you’re meeting with your manager regularly, you can talk, remind them about, oh, I’ve done these things the last six months, or This is what I’ve accomplished since our last one-on-one and chat about how you’re doing. I keep a running log for my one-on-ones with people of, it’s almost a diary like, what have I been doing? What projects am I working on? And if you did that, then it’s so much easier when you’re going back and needing to prepare a resume of, oh yeah, what did I do the last five years at this? You can go back and really have that as your diary or your log if you want to be recognized. Don’t hesitate to ask for feedback from your coworkers. You can ask for feedback from others in your field. You can ask for feedback from clients on LinkedIn. You can have them do a recommendation for you.

(24:09):

LinkedIn is a great platform for you to be able to ask for those sorts of recommendations and from your coworkers too. And remember that your value isn’t just determined by how much praise you get from your boss or your employer. You can’t use that as a gauge of how well you’re doing.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (24:34):

Yeah, good points.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (24:37):

Vickie, what about negative company culture?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (24:41):

Yeah, this is a big one. An organization with a negative culture might exhibit poor collaboration, unethical practices, dishonesty. They may focus the blame rather than being solutions driven. Some employees are afraid to speak up and give their opinions, and that’s going to lead to overall disengagement. You may not be able to fix the entire company culture alone, but the best way to make light of the situation is to stay out of office drama. Don’t engage in gossip, bullying and other toxic behavior activity. I saw this meme yesterday speaking of this, it was Michael Scott from the office, and it said, why I don’t hang out with toxic people because they’re a thief of joy. So I was like, that’s perfect. They are total thief of joy. Keep your interactions professional and stay focused on solutions. Foster collaboration when you can and comradery among your team. Lead by example.

(25:38):

Be that voice of reason. And when given a chance, Lori mentioned this earlier, provide feedback and share your opinion. If your employer conducts those surveys, put feedback in there. If your manager asks for feedback, be candid and be honest, professional with them and ask for feedback yourself if you’re not getting it. I had a manager one time that was pretty quiet. He didn’t really say a whole lot and didn’t really give a lot of feedback. And so one day I just asked him, am I doing okay? And he’s like, oh yeah, if you were doing something wrong, I would tell you. So I was like, okay, no news is good news. That’s how you operate. Be honest and straightforward. And like I said, keep every communication professional. You don’t want to appear as a complainer. Find that trusted coworker, trusting team that can share your sediments and hopefully help push that feedback through to the decision makers. I love this quote, be the change you wish to see. It just resonates so well. And Lori mentioned, I think already that you don’t have to be a manager to be a leader. You can be a leader as an individual model that behavior that you’ll expect to your manager, manage up model to your coworkers so that they’re going to start feeling, see how you’re behaving and how you’re treating things. And it’s going to demonstrate to them how they should be operating as well. And it’ll be influencing. Lori, tell us about how to deal with conflict and hostility. Toxic trait number seven.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (27:13):

So it can feel pretty toxic if there aren’t some good ways to handle conflict. And I had a boss one time that says that there’s no progress without conflict, which I think is true, but I think people handle that in different ways. And I’m very conflict averse. I don’t want there to be conflict at all. I want to be so far away from it. But this can lead to passive aggressive behavior. If there aren’t good ways to handle the conflict, it can lead to constant bickering, gossiping, clicks, bullying or harassment. So if you find you self in any of these situations, I think the thing to do again is just step back, stay calm, try to be professional. Don’t let hostility get to you. Try to respond with facts instead. And I know it’s so hard in the heat of the moment, but really try to take that breath before you respond.

(28:19):

Talk to your trusted coworkers or your mentors about this. Look for allies who also want to improve the vibe at work because maybe together you can encourage positive change by setting a good example. And if things get overwhelming, consider working remotely to take a break from the toxic atmosphere. If you have that ability to do that could make a world of difference for you, especially if you’re getting micromanaged, then you won’t have that manager just coming around and looking over your shoulder all the time. And again, remember, it’s so important to document everything. Keep track of any negative interactions you have, including dates, times, and anyone who saw it happen. And this will be a real help when you do go to HR, and I’ve been watching the chat and I know that a lot of you’re very frustrated because you have gone to HR for these issues and they still don’t get taken care of. So maybe we can address that in some of our Q and a here, Vickie.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (29:26):

Yeah, absolutely. I was going to add, Lori, you mentioned about being conflict averse, and I’m one of those people earlier in my career when I was younger and my emotional intelligence wasn’t very well developed. I was a quick fire. I would quickly fire back a response to someone if I got an email that aggravated me. And what I learned was from one of my former managers was that you mentioned this stepping back. So he would say sometimes, Vickie, you just got to step back from that message and take a deep breath. And maybe it is going outside and taking a walk around the office or around the creek and just getting a fresh set of eyes and time to cool down before you quickly respond. So I don’t like conflict now, but before used to be a little bit of a spitfire and would be like right back at you, but I don’t do that anymore.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (30:25):

So tell us about reporting these toxic behaviors because it looks like I said in the chat, like a lot of people do report it and it goes un unrecognized. Nobody does anything about it. How do we get HR to pay attention?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (30:41):

It’s unfortunate. And there are good HR people out there and there are HR people that are the ones that make HR people look bad. I will say that part in our series, we ask respondents who experience a toxic work environment if they had reported these behavior. And what we found is just about 53% said they did report the incidences, but only 17% said their organization addressed the issue. So that’s a sad statistic there. There’s definitely a stigma around reporting toxic and harmful behaviors. Why is this? No one wants to be a tattletale? Some fear retaliation, some feel that HR is not going to bother to fix it. They don’t feel comfortable going to HR, especially if they’re company cultures not conducive to trust and transparency or they don’t think their organization will do anything about the situation. Companies can’t fix what they don’t know is broken, so it’s a shame that they’re not sharing this with HR or company leaders. I do encourage you to check your employee handbook and make sure that there’s an open door policy. Make sure that there’s a non-retaliation policy. And like I said before, some states require those non retaliation policies. Now there are a lot of protections for you as an employee. So if you don’t have those in your handbook you can’t find, I encourage you to do a quick Google search, do a quick JGPT. There are protections out there that can explain how that works and how it should work. You shouldn’t have that fear. You are protected.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (32:25):

Sorry,

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (32:25):

Document everything. Lori said that earlier. Back it up with claims, back it up with facts and data. And if you don’t feel comfortable going to HR, perhaps approach a senior leadership in your organization. If you’ve gone to your direct manager, maybe it’s their manager above that, someone a higher level or maybe even a legal department or a board member. It’s not my immediate go-to, but I have seen that with some of the clients I’ve worked with where employees have actually gone to a board member with their concerns and there’s been investigations opened up and there’s been resolution. So if you need to seek that level, do it. If you need to seek advice from attorney where you think you should go next, see if you have a legitimate case, there are agencies that you can go to. The EEOC. There are federal laws that protect you and also now state laws that protect you as well.

(33:20):

Honestly, I’ve been on both sides of this and being in HR, I’ve had people turn their face up me when I said I work in HR, they’re like, you’re one of those, right? And then I’ve got friends and colleagues that come to me and consider me a trustworthy mentor for advice. It’s really hard as an HR person, you have to build credibility. You have to build relationships, and you have to build that trust. And we’re not all created equally in HR. I will share that that is our job as HR to build relationships and trust. And when an employee comes to us with a concern, if you have that relationship and trust, it’s going to be easier to have those conversations. So now let’s turn to when it might be time to leave that toxic work environment. We’ve talked about the most common characteristics and what you should do to report them and what to do, but this situation can be tricky, especially when you are at a job that you love and you love your career. ,

(34:20):

And if you’re being paid well, we saw that 54% of the workers we surveyed, so they left the job due to toxic workplace because they could get a new role somewhere else. And I want to talk about some signs that it may be time to leave the first one. We’ve kind of touched on this a little bit. Your mental and physical health are suffering. If you experience constant stress, anxiety, burnout that affects your daily life, your personal relationships, overall happiness is suffering. If you’re having trouble sleeping, frequent headaches, sicknesses that you cannot shake or lack of motivation, remember that it’s not worth compromising your mental health or wellbeing. There is a better opportunity out there for you when toxicity shows no signs of improvement, when leadership and HR are aware of the issue such as bullying, poor communications conflicts, and there’s just nothing happened regardless of what you’ve done to try to bring a solution to the issue.

(35:23):

What if it’s management that’s actually the part of the problem. I mean, if that’s hard to fix, we’ve talked about a couple of tips, but it’s really hard to fix when feedback’s going ignored and when you feel unsupported, undervalue and unheard. I, another one is, your career growth is stagnant if you’re not potentially learning and developing new skills in your job, if you don’t envision a clear career path or advancement within the company and you’re not seeing opportunities to grow with meaningful progress towards your career goals. And lastly, you’ll know it’s time to leave your job when you dread going to work. Maybe you have a case of the scary Sundays or I like to say a case of the Mondays, you feel anxious and exhausted even before your workday starts. If you’re having trouble keeping focus on your task and your day-to-day projects, if you are feeling emotionally drained and just struggle to stay engaged at work, it’s time to move on.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (36:25):

So you’ve made that decision. Totally agree. I remember sitting out in the parking lot in my car every morning and I’d be psyching myself up to go in. It’d be like, okay, I’m going in. Because it was like a war zone when you got in there. I mean, so much was happening and people were negative. And that takes a lot out of me because I’m very positive and happy person. So yeah, me too,

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (36:53):

Lori. Yeah, I’ve been there. I’m like, oh, I got to log in. I don’t really want to be here today. And then next thing you know, you’re scrolling on your phone and you’re like, I should be working, but I just don’t want to work. See all the

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (37:06):

Emojis going up. It’s like, yeah, you guys know you’ve been there. So

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (37:11):

Good place to be. Yeah, there some days. Yeah, let’s talk about, okay, now you’ve made that decision you’re going to move on, get a new job. So you want to make sure that you resign gracefully and professionally without burning those bridges. After all, you never know if that employer is going to need to be a reference for you and you want to have a positive reference from them. And you never know you may return to that company one day. Lori and I are both boomerang employees of iHire not because of toxic work environment. We had other life things going on that we left and came back for various reasons, but you never know. The culture could change at the company. They could have new leadership come in, they could have new HR come in, and it could be a whole different dynamic. So no matter as much as you might want to quit on the spot one day because you’re so frustrated, make sure you give them at least two weeks minimum notice. And they may say, you know what? We’re just going to let you go ahead and go today, and that’s okay. I’ve seen this happen in my career, but it’s always best to give that notice. I would say ensure that you have another option lined up. Otherwise, you could have risk of financial instability or gaps on your resume, which never looks good. The best time to look for a job is while you still have one. Even if you dread it, keep looking

(38:41):

When you let your manager know your company, know that you’re going to be resigning. Make sure you offer some candid feedback about why you’re leaving, but be careful not to be too candid. You don’t want to just vent out all your frustrations that could lead to burning bridges. Make sure you’re professional in your feedback. You could simply say, I found another role that meets my professional career goals and personal goals. On the other hand, you might be one of those people that’s maybe a little shy and don’t want to give feedback, especially if they do exit interviews, that’s okay too. They should be voluntary. And I’ve had employees that are departing decline to do these. Even if you just give a short statement. I do encourage you to think about it at least providing some kind of feedback because think of those people that you’re leaving behind. If you’re going to give examples, make sure that they are constructive, make sure that you’re giving advice that’s going to positively benefit the people that you leave behind. And believe it or not, as an HR person, I do X interviews. I look for patterns. Why are people leaving? What are their frustrations? Where are areas we can improve upon and we can improve? Even with my clients, they can learn and improve.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (40:00):

I feel like it’s partially your responsibility. If you’re moving on to a new job and you’re leaving these coworkers behind and the coworkers aren’t part of the problem, whatever you can do that helps them. If that’s by just giving HR the true facts of why you’re leaving and how things really are going in that department and what you’ve faced, and that’s a great time to bring up your documentation and say, I have this and I’m one of six people who probably are keeping a notebook. Just imagine what else is happening in that department, but at least give the HR manager something to work with and just a reason to start digging into it if they’re that type of a person. I saw a comment, I don’t know if it was a question, but it said something like, well, HR is there to protect the company, not really to protect the employees. Is that your take on it, Vickie?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (41:11):

I mean, honestly, what I’ve been taught over my career and by my mentors is that HR has to be a partner between the two. We are looking after the interest of the company, but we’re also looking after the interest of the employee. And sometimes it’s a balance. You have to make sure that you’re keeping your workforce engaged, satisfied, but you also to look out for the company as well and what’s going to be best overall at the end of the day, looking at that big picture. So some people do have that perspective that HR is only pro company. I like to think of it as we’re balanced between the two.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (41:48):

Yeah, and again, individual basis, it depends on your HR leaders and your company leadership.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (41:55):

Yes, absolutely.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (41:57):

So let’s recap and do our takeaways. We have so many questions. I know we’re not going to be able to get to them, but we’re going to try to cherry pick the ones that are going to be in the broader topics so that we can hit a lot of different things. So toxic workplaces are very common and can really mess with your job satisfaction, motivation and overall career. To survive and do well in a toxic workplace, you have to be your own advocate. Take initiative, find that work-life balance. Lean on your coworkers for support and try to lead by example. If you need to report any toxic behaviors to HR, make sure you’ve got those facts. Keep your notebook and keep a record of what’s happening. Also, check out your company’s non-retaliation policy. It should be in your employee handbook if you have one to be safe. And everybody should have an employee handbook if a situation is affecting your health. Doesn’t seem like it’ll get better if you’re having panic attacks at home, I have done, if it’s stalling your career or just making you go dread going in every day, it’s totally okay to leave just part on good terms. And this means giving honest, constructive feedback. That’s what we were just talking about. You don’t want to burn any bridges, but you do want to make sure that they are well aware of the problem when that door closes behind you.

(43:31):

All right, so let’s get to some of our questions here. First question, what red flags should I look for to make sure I don’t accept a job with an employer with a toxic culture? Well, I’ll take that one, Vickie, if that’s okay. I think that if you keep seeing that job posting on, if it just keeps popping up, that’s a sign that there’s high turnover. If it’s taking them forever to make a decision on you or forever to get through the hiring process, that could be a red flag. And I would also do some due diligence before I applied to the job or before I accepted the job. Glassdoor and Fishbowl, those are two really good places for you to do some research, and those will probably tell a story about what that place is like to work with.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (44:39):

And I would add, Lori also, if you do decide to go ahead and interview, ask that question during the process. Is this a backfill? Is this a new position? If it’s a backfill, how many people have been in this position and what was their reason for leaving?

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (44:57):

What was their reason? Why is this job available? That is always a good question because if they’re saying, oh, we were promoted somebody from within, that’s great. That’s a great sign. That’s a great sign. And if you’re like, well, we haven’t been able to keep people in this job that not so great, my company doesn’t provide any way for us to report incidences anonymously. How can I report an incident to HR without anyone knowing it’s me?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (45:31):

Yeah, yeah. This is tough. I have seen some companies have hotlines. Those usually typically larger companies, but you could always just do type up a note and stick it on the chair and they don’t know who it came from. Use those AI tools. Lori mentioned to anonymize it, make it more neutral, make it professional, and just maybe drop it on your manager’s chair or drop it on the HRs chair when they’re not there.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (45:59):

Okay. What if you drop it on multiple chairs? What if you not only drop it on HR but you drop it on the president’s chair or something else? Is that okay to do?

(39:23):

Those are all very important things that candidate or employees need when they struggle. You got [00:39:30] to be able to identify that and provide that solution to them. I think mentorships is a big thing in an organization. We talk about having that kind of work friend, but mentorship to me takes that to the next level. It puts somebody kind of as a trusted advisor that you can go to and you might not be able to talk to your manager about a frustration, but hopefully you can share that with your mentor and if you’ve got a good structured mentor program in place, those mentors can bring those kind of issues and things to light [00:40:00] either with the leadership team or other managers and directors into the team. So there’s a lot of ways you can get into this. We talk about sending employees to conferences and workshops.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (46:12):

I think so. I mean, it is getting your message out there. And I mean, if they are talking as leadership as they should be, they’re going to say, Hey, did you get this letter? Did you hear this concern? And then they can go from there and dig in and try to figure out the situation. Hopefully not the person but the situation. If you truly want it to be anonymous,

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (46:34):

Because the first thing they’re going to say is, oh, come back to HR or come back and let’s have a talk with HR. What legal rights do I have when a toxic workplace harms my wellbeing?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (46:48):

Yeah, good question, Lori.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (46:50):

When it talks about legal rights, I want you to do that one.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (46:53):

Yeah, I kind of mentioned a little bit of this earlier. Knowing your rights when it comes to civil rights, a DA age discrimination, equal opportunity, equal pay, you do have protections against retaliation. Consider your mental health. Many states now allow for workers’ comp claims and disability claims. FMLA could come into play if you’re in a state that has paid family leave, that can also come into play. I’ve seen that over my career. Document everything. File internal complaints through your channels, whether it’s leadership or HR. Seek legal advice when you, when you feel like you might need to go that direction if it is a situation such as age discrimination, discrimination because of anything that’s protected under your civil rights. So personal protective characteristics. I can’t get my words out today. Also, many states, not only the federal level, but there are many personal characteristics that are now protected under state. So know your EEOC policy for that state. And also state labor boards you can report to as well.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (48:07):

Alright, what do you do when you’ve gone to HR twice? Documentation is novella. I love that. And nothing is done. I say it’s time to start going around HR. What do you think, Vickie?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (48:23):

I totally agree. I mentioned earlier, perhaps going to a senior leader or going to a board member. If your company has a board, it wouldn’t be my first resort, but if you’re not getting a resolution from HR, it’s time to take it up to the next level.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (48:39):

Yeah, totally agree. You’ve got to get other people involved, especially since you have the novella. I mean, that’s great that you have the documentation. So how do I handle it when people, or no, this is how it’s worded. How do handle when people complain about you a lot? So I’m taking this as this person is getting complained about maybe to HR and to these other places. We probably need to know a little bit more about that situation. But if you are getting feedback that people are complaining about you, I think that you kind of have to take that on board and look at it and say, alright, what’s the common thread here? And why am I coming off like this to the point that people feel like they need to complain about me to somebody else and they don’t feel like they can come to me?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (49:51):

A little more context around that would be helpful. Where is this feedback coming from? Is it coming from your manager? Is it coming from HR? Is it coming from your colleagues? If it’s coming from your colleagues in HR, whoever it’s coming from. I mean, I would just ask the questions upfront, like Lori mentioned, look for those patterns. What are they complaining about? Maybe do some self-reflection too. And I mean, I feel like I’ve been in that situation before where people have complained about me and I had to take a step back and be like, okay, what am I doing? Am I the problem or is it the other person? Is it perspective? And then seek advice from your mentor if you have one. And if you don’t, I highly recommend getting one. Anything you want to add, Lori?

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (50:34):

One of the other gals that does the webinars with us, Tammy, she was a manager at one point for a major retailer. So she would go around and she said one year she gave her managers all a mirror to put on their desk and she said, you know what? The first thing I want you to ask yourself when things are not going well, I want you to look in the mirror and say, why are things not going well? Am I the reason that things are not going well in this department or in this store? We just thought that that was such a good lesson and something that we all need to probably do is look within ourselves first and say, could I be part of this problem? Because it’s so easy to blame a toxic workplace without realizing that you could be a little part of the problem. So it’s like that with everybody, but,

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (51:44):

But I think just in general as an individual, it’s good to do some self-reflection. I try to do that myself every day when all the different situations I come up with, how could I have done better? Is there anything I learned from that? Really just I think that’s really important trait.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (52:02):

All right. This is our last question. What is a completely anonymous way to send out a survey for feedback from my staff? I want them to feel complete trust and that it’s anonymous. No handwriting or not getting into specific situations. I guess I would say Google Forms has a really quick way that you can do a survey and send it out to people, and it doesn’t show who the survey is coming from, but that would be my suggestion. Vickie, do you have anything else?

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (52:40):

Yeah, I was going to say with the Google forms, just be careful you’re not collecting that data on their email. I’ve seen it that way too.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (52:47):

Oh, okay.

Vickie Krolak, Senior HR Business Partner (52:48):

Yeah. I would say also Microsoft Forms. If you’re on the Microsoft platform, that’s another way. Again, you have to set it up so that you don’t see their email address of where it came from. It’s just one of the toggles that you can fix there. I know I’ve used SurveyMonkey. Yeah, it just depends on how you want to set it up. I mean, that’s something if you’re a manager and you’re looking for HR advice, it’s something that our HR consulting services could help you with what questions to ask, how to anonymize it, and how to set it up properly so you can get good feedback. I’ve done this for clients. That’s why I mentioned it.

Lori Cole, Brand Ambassador (53:26):

Yeah, no, that’s a great thing. So thank you everybody for joining us today. If you’re an HR manager on this call, which it sounds like we’ve had a few, good for you. I’m just so pleased that you’re being proactive and you are on the call and you want to know how to make things better at your company. I really applaud you. If you are an employee in a toxic environment, we hope that this helped you. We hope that you could take away some good tips from us. Thank you for all the time you took to submit all of these questions. We’re sorry we couldn’t get to everything. Thank you again to Vickie, my co-presenter for doing this. Be sure you keep an eye on your inbox for an on-demand recording of this webinar. It’ll come in tomorrow, and if somebody else is struggling, you can go ahead and send it to them and also look for an invitation to our next webinar that’ll come out in a few weeks. I hope you all have a great rest of your day, and thank you all so much for your engagement and participation. We really appreciate those emojis and you just being such an engaged audience. Thanks so much.